Saturday, December 21, 2013

Initial Thoughts Upon Being Back in The United States

The language. 
I feel like I'm eavesdropping on everyone because I CAN ACTUALLY UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE AROUND ME ARE SAYING. I keep reminding myself that though I can comprehend, these are not my conversations and no one needs me to add anything. But it's hard, you know. 

The radio! Driving! 
These are things I have missed. I find myself taking the long way around so I can get in more music time. There is a song by Rihanna and Eminem--something about a monster--that is on every other station, every other song I swear it. There is also some Lady Gaga and (dirty raper--not missing a P) R. Kelly song that I change in protest each time I hear it. I may be checking in on the Top 40 crap, but I'm doing it with a conscience. Also, some radio station's touting itself as giving the "most free money." Is that what listening to the radio's about these days?

Speaking of driving.
People are rampantly TEXTING while doing it. And this is not illegal! I'm sure it just gets worse when everyone's driving around from Christmas party to cocktail spot to other cocktail spot (read: drinking and driving, yo it happens big time here) and texting to keep in touch while on the road. Drunk driving and texting is pretty much about the scariest thing I can think of. Ugh. Shame on youse.

Which reminds me.
The St. Louis accent exists. I have tried to put my finger on what it entails exactly, though it screams to me when I hear it. In discussing with others, however, we determined it's nasal vowels ("hockey" is something more like "hah-kee" with the "hah" straight up your nose), hard D's and T's when they start words, and dropped Gs when they're at the end of a word (goin', runnin'). It all combines in a way that someone described as goose-like. Yep, it's true. St. Louisans sound like geese. Gives new meaning to the term "honkies." Oh, and this number: 44? Lots of locals say "farty far." No joke!

I am tricking out my words and phrases in a most creative and confused way--because I am here with the natives! I had to remind myself to just "say it right" the other day. Because it's probably pretty annoying to be around me and my dancing mouth.

The televisions. 
Why is there a TV bloody everywhere?? We had lunch at a Vietnamese spot today and I found myself lost in the electronic visions above the bar. Boo. Put that shit away. TVs just de-class everything. Someone told me there are even TVs above urinals in some places. I have not seen this myself nor will I be checking. But seriously, you can't whiz without missing a minute of the game?!