Damn, That's Some Wall!

As you know, I get to China quite often.  And every time I'm there, I hear about the sights I should see--the terracotta warriors, the Great Wall, the beaches in the South but honestly, when I'm done working I'm usually ready to go right home.  After spending 3 stinky days at the terrible Beijing fabric show (more in a later post...), we managed to find a little time to check out the Great Wall.  F and I hired a private driver and tour guide, which is quite common and affordable and not at all as fancy as it sounds, but really I was happy that my Great Wall excursion did not involve a tourbus full of olds.  The part we went to--the Juyang Pass--was a little over an hour from Beijing.  There is no funicular to take you up to the top at this part of the wall, and I'm not exaggerating when I say there were lots of unevenly treacherous stairs to master.  We had to stop a few times on the way up to catch our breath and one of us (not me) didn't go all the way to the top.  It's a workout!

It's funny because I always had the impression that the wall was impassable, that it was the wall itself that kept the Mongols out.  I'm sure the wall was quite an impediment to these roving groups, but honestly with a leg up or some climbing tools or a a crude ladder, the Mongols could have up-and-overed it for sure.  But really the wall is fortified with watchtowers all along the way, where soldiers (who would live there) would have a view for miles and be on alert for incoming tribes.  So with this system of alert in place (they would send up smoke when invaders were spotted) and the giant wall to slow the bad guys down, the Great Wall was a pretty good system.

Oh, and our guide was talking about the oppressive labor required to build it and how people's entire lives were given solely to building this wall.  Ugh.  He said it's considered the world's longest cemetery because when the laborers would die, they would often just put the bodies in the wall and keep building.  And then he took us to a jade factory and tried to get us to buy stuff.
 

Present day marauders.

Love locks, just like in Paris!

Oh, man this sneak shot is the BEST!  Thanks, crazy Jesus scrawler, for giving my random Great Wall portraiture that extra something!

The steps are high and irregular.  Heights fears were stared in the eye today.  I did it!

Great Wall portraiture without crazy Jesus scrawling.

What a view!

I like the one that says, "Hey dummy, it's storming.  Get off your damn cellphone!" 

But my favorite is:  "Heart cerebral disease sufferer ascend the Great Wall to please watch for."  YES.

Welcome to climb the Great Wall, heart attackers!

Oh boy, I love the use of "Welcome to" in China.  "Welcome to take my taxi!"  "Welcome to enjoy the tea!"  It is second only to "Please enjoy" in my list of favorite Engrish phrases.

All along the watch tower.

Tee-hee.

China Breakdown, Part 1

I get annoyed when people upload zillions of photos to their Facebook albums after a vacation.  Updates like "So-and-so just uploaded 534 photos to the album 'Family Reunion Weekend in Florida'" autonomously make my fists clench.  If you post more than 10 photos at one time to one album, suffice it to say I do not look.  Especially if these photos are all of the same subject matter and I can tell you've not edited.  Is it lazy or is it self-indulgent to post hordes of photos?  Facebook is not a photo-sharing service.  If you want to post tons of photos, get a blog where you can indulge yourself as much as you want!*

By all this, I prepare you for the onslaught of my China photos.  I assure you, I have edited.  And I have categorized them (somewhat) into separate entries.  You're welcome.


* Please note, this does not hold to people who upload to general, seasonal albums showcasing a bunch of things that have happened over a long period of time.  I have no beef with you.

This sort of sums it up:  gas masks in the wardrobes of even the "fancy" hotels.  

That's China.  Even the nice things aren't really nice... because it's still China.  I was telling B how there are many stalled construction projects, skyscrapers that have been sitting half-constructed for what looks to be a long while.  They are creepy.  

I started wondering how this happens--don't you know how much it costs to build a skyscraper before you start?  For example, I certainly would not start building a skyscraper today because I know I don't have enough money to finish it.  Duh.  On our drive to the Great Wall, we passed something that looked like a Disney castle, which was actually a half-constructed amusement park.  Our guide told us the owners could not afford the project after all (something about the people selling them the land raising the price... hmm), so it was abandoned and now there is an ominously empty Disney-esque amusement park just near the Great Wall.  Boy, I would have loved to have taken some pictures of that. 

This is Shanghai.  All light shows and tall buildings and fancy riverfronts and lots of expats.  Sure, there is a dumpy underbelly to Shanghai, too:  spit on the sidewalks (it's the new dog poo!), nose/ear picking, bad toilet/food smells, smoking everywhere, knock-off goods.  But Shanghai is sufficiently Westernized so that I can get around on my own (with a hotel card in Chinese, of course), while in Beijing I am treated like a 4-headed freak.

If the above riverfront of the future is Shanghai, then this captures Beijing.  Old buildings, none of them too tall and a guy selling oranges from a horse-drawn cart.  The traffic is a nightmare in Beijing, enough to put you off from actually trying to go somewhere.  And it's quite hard to get around as a single white woman.  Taxis won't even stop for you.  And if they do, the driver can't stop craning at you in a leering way, forcing you to call your colleague to talk to him in Mandarin and make sure he's really taking you to the hotel.  One time the novelty of being a Westerner helped, however, when I found myself stuck in the middle of an intersection (on the wrong side of the fence around the busy street... oh, me) and two different people came over to help me (or just to practice their English, perhaps), one even leaving his grandma unattended in her wheelchair.  The second girl actually flagged a taxi for me, and I honestly don't know if I could have gotten back to the hotel without her.  What a mess.







I am always taken with the handmade brooms in China.  They mass-produce everything in China--but not brooms?  (Or maybe they are all sent directly to the US.)  These brooms have personality and are better than any factory-made broom, that's for sure.

I ran down the street to snap a photo of these guys hauling a bunch of chairs.  People looked at me like I was crazy.  Nobody ever understands the things I take photos of in China:  trash and brooms and signs and food and dogs.

This is the "nice" hotel we stay at in Shanghai.  It is much better than anyplace I'd expect my company to put us up, but I know we only get to stay here because it is across the street from our office.  The hotel was bright and shiny a few years ago, but it's starting to need a rehab and the food is just terrible (like, when I got that terribel stomach virus a few trips back) and, well, I opened my bathroom door to this!  It looks like someone burned the tub.  Gross.

Teddy bouquet says "I love you!"

I really want this hair.  

But right now I look like this, and I think the short permed 'do might be too big of a change for me.  Hmm.

Bling bling fizz water.

Check the sign for the snack stand:  WISH DOING.  

Welcome to buy my shoes!

Thanks to Monika, I don't travel without these make-up removing cleansing wipes from Korres.  They are the best!  That reminds me, I need some more...

Coordination.

The cutest couple in Shanghai, enjoying some Korean bbq.

This is Nina's iPhone case!  Liberace Monchichi ice cream Chanel pom-pom bling style.

There are so many things wrong with this menu.  First, it's called a wine list but there is no wine on it.  Oh wait, there's something called "Wine Bar" at the end.  Maybe you'd prefer a "Jack Danie"?  And what is "Vigour Liquor"?  

Taxicab patterning.

Oh, the comfort of a mushroom bunny quilted fleece pad!

Check out this customized Infinity!  The handles, the handles!

Lunch money.

Beijing taxi bondage.

Someone left their (mylar) heart at the Beijing airport.

Ch-Ch-China

Sometimes I am sparse with the updates for no good reason, but I've got an excuse this time.  I've been in China, where they make it really hard for you to work on your silly little blog.  Thankfully I am able to access my company's server in Paris so I can dance around their controls, but it makes for an infinitesimal lagtime (sometimes I can count up to 10 seconds before the letter I've struck appears on the screen--which makes for a fun "Memory" or "Count-'em-down" sort of typing game!) and my arse hurts at the mere thought of uploading a photo.

So I will wait for the photo updates until I'm home this weekend, at which point I will be no doubt super J-lagged and barely able to grunt at the cat much less string a sentence for this here thing.  So you've been warned.  But I give you a briefing on the trip as it was this time:

1. I am proud to say I am still gluten-free.  There were moments (mostly at the disgusting Beijing fabric fair) when I thought that if a Papa John's pizza  fell (from the grimey girders) into my lap, I would have polished it off with no problem.  But I am proud to say I was steadfast and spent 12 dumpling-free days in China.  If I don't fall ill with something-or-other after this germy time, I will know that my immune system has been duly fortified.  As someone without a severe gluten allergy, it's pretty easy to be off the gluten in China.  No dumplings, no excessive amounts of soy sauce (I am no saint), no deep-fried/"breaded"
 things, and no beer.  So really, it's been all-rice, all-the-time.  And a fried pigeon here and there.  But no Jew's ear.  Nuh-uh. Only for pictures, I swear.

2. It's been a clean-up on aisle Marni over here.  I wasn't that into the H&M-Marni collection when it came out, mostly because I was put off by the frenzy of it all.  Maybe it's because I knew I could never get a piece--even with a boyfriend who works at H&M.  That shizz was gone in seconds!  But I thought maybe I'd take a gander in Shanghai... and, sure enough, there it all was!  Hanging unpreturbed!  And... ON SALE.  I got a pair of shoes (made in Portugal, no less) and a silk dress and a silk blouse.  But the best part was I had the time to browse, try things on, and think it over before I made my purchases, on sale, with a discount.  OK, now I'm just rubbing it in.  And when I got to Beijing, there was even MORE there.  Like accessories!  So I have a few extra plastic necklaces earmarked for a few lovely ladies that I know.  But if you are dying for one (not the fancy leaf one, though...), send me an email. 

3. I've been to Beijing twice now, so it's doubly confirmed I find it dirtier, uglier (Except for the Olympic Stadium, it really is what any new stadium should be judged against--damn all those retro-style stadiums built in the past 10 years in the US.  They turn my stomach.  But this is not the time for a stadium rant, though I am good for it.), slower (Because. The. Traffic. Is. Painfully. Awfully.  Horribly.  *cough*  Slow.  And. You.  Can. *fumes*  Get.  Nowhere.  Fast.), and harder to manage than Shanghai.  Sure, Shanghai is all tall buildings and loud expats from Oz and light shows and over-priced scene-y dinners, but it is much more modern and (dare I say?) civilized than Beijing.  I mean, I get stared at hard in Beijing.  And try taking a taxi as a solo Western woman... I thought the one taxi driver was going to strain his neck all the times he kept turning to stare at me. 

4. I think I might like Yunnan food the most of all of the regional Chinese food I've had.

5. Today we went to the Summer Palace (where I was inappropriately dressed for the windy cold weather and spent most of the time shivering and fantasizing about all of the things in my suitcase layered to encase my body) and then (after a stop back at the hotel, which thanks to the Beijing traffic was no quick jaunt) to the Great Wall.  Yes, I went to the freaking GREAT WALL OF CHINA today!  Woop!  And it was really something.  I will write more about it later when I am over my impending jetlag and can do it properly.  I don't know when I'll be back in Beijing (not soon, if I can help it), so I jumped on the opportunity to go.  I think it's the only one of the Seven Wonders I've seen.  And, yeah, it's a wonder alright.

6.  Damn you, pink puppy.  You had no excuse holding out on me this time.  Your mom and dad no doubt wonder what the deal is with the girl in the red-and-black coat craning into their newsstand every day.  Please come out and play next time!   

7.  What would I do without my Kindle?  (T R-P, I am forever grateful for your encouragement.)  It really is the best dinner/lunch/breakfast partner a traveling lady could ask for.  I finished the Paris Wife, which despite my initially snobbery, was a fun read.  I've put off The Sisters Brothers so I can read some of Nancy Mitford's historical stuff.  Madame de Pompadour, I'm smitten!  I can't wait to be back on your bourgeois stomping grounds tomorrow!

Stuff on Walls #57

Here's a buncha stuff on walls from before my China trip.  Love the Lucha Libre posters...

I've found that horse shows are a real hit in Europe.  And the posters are generally awesome. 

Nugget

I can't WAIT to see this one tomorrow.  I am homeward bound in about 15 hours....

Kitty Lotto!

Only in Paris are there scratch off tickets with cats and dogs on them.  Of course, I had toss 2 euros at one of these.  I guess they had a big casting to find the "lucky" pets featured.  And there is some sort of App where you can "play" with the pets.  heh.



And here's my own lucky kitty:

Well, I can't sleep with you and your camera right there.